N2cc vs Yarl
May 22nd 2010
Tudor Sports Ground

Saturday May 22nd promised to be a glorious day, and when Bobby Moore turned up (late…) with a big bag full of proper N2 kit, the day just kept getting better. Cheapskates and ringers aside, the team looked resplendent as we strode onto the Tudor outfield in our new livery.

Things started badly when Kaptain Kutner lost yet another toss, and the heartless oppo put us out to field on the hottest day in living memory. However Shai started as he meant to go on – with tight, inswinging bowling from the pavilion, and was joined by Sam, offspring of evil, in producing a dual spell that got us off to a grand start. The first chance was a edge to the increasingly unreliable Bobster at slip off the bowling of Sam, which he put down with characteristic butterfingers. He then left the field, citing injury, as we all stood around and laughed at him. (Turns out his thumb was broken, so who’s laughing now? Actually I suppose that would still be me….).

At the other end Shai was bowling a persistent, accurate line and length which the oppo batsmen were struggling to get away. At this stage runs were mostly squirty edges, or an occasional boundary when a wild swing connected. A wicket was due, and Bhatt made it happen with a peach of a delivery, getting his man lbw, only a few balls after another good shout was turned down. In the meantime, Sam was unlucky again as an edge flew through the slips and another slash through gully found the gap. He kept plugging away though, and was finally rewarded for a quality spell when the remaining opener hacked straight down debutant Cakey’s throat at cover, Rob making a difficult catch look very easy. Thommo took over the golf course end, and bowled a tight, relatively economical spell to keep the pressure firmly on our opponents, whilst Shai finished off his spell in style with another victim. This brought Doddsy on at the pavilion end, and after a couple of slightly erratic range-finding overs, the highlight being a drop-and-tumble at mid-off by the fast-ageing Parker, he was switched to the golf course end, replacing Thommo. This paid off, and with Richard bowling from the pavilion, wickets began to tumble.

Richard was bowling with pace and accuracy, and soon bails began peppering the keeper and slip with painful regularity. Doddsy on the other hand, could only look on in despair as the normally-magnificent Jill misjudged the pace of a sliced drive and had a cheeky fumble at extra cover. No harm done though, as Bhatt caught the same man out at mid off in Paul’s next over, shooting a pointed glance in the general direction of the Jill. Not to be outdone, my hero and yours then rediscovered his natural élan with a spectacular low catch, a disbelieving batsman remarking: “That is certainly the finest cricketer I have ever seen,” not realising Jill was also fluent in Sinhalese.
Anyway, more Richard. Richard really was bowling very well, and in four overs he managed to concede just 10 runs, whilst ripping the heart from the middle order with four wickets in his first three overs. With just the one wicket remaining, a friendly competition between Richard, who understandably was chasing his five-for, and Doddsy, who is a terrible bastard and wanted to deny Rich said five-for, was taking shape. Eyebrows were raised then, when Tony decided to take Richard out of the attack and let Jill turn his arm over instead. Five dot balls later and Yarl were out for 97. A good fielding performance all round.

After a healthy tea spent regaling anybody who would listen with tales of his myriad injuries and illnesses, Bobby and long-suffering opening partner Dave tottered geriatrically out to bat. Bobby hacked around a bit, nabbing a couple of singles, before one of their bowlers kindly put him out of his misery. He then flounced geriatrically back to the pavilion and sulked in a fittingly geriatric fashion. Meanwhile Dave and Breadroll were getting along fine in the middle.

Fruitcake wasn’t hanging around either, his untutored, yet talented batting adding a bit of impetus to our chase. He was taking risks though, and he eventually connected badly and dollied a catch to mid on, ending a respectable debut innings of 14. Dave made stately but sedate progress – his forward defensive looked in very order – before he went for a big shot and was unluckily, but very skilfully caught under the boundary trees for 13. Matt and Tony were the new batsmen, and both had been looking a bit out of touch so far this season.

Whilst Matt dug in for the finish, Tony showed no such inclination, despite suggesting that he was going to bat properly today. He was very quickly on his way, which brought the lovely Gillian to the crease. Confident after his heroic match-saving knock in the first game, he then proceeded to be made a mug of by the bastard medium pacer/spinner thing bowling at him. He hung in there, and even deigned to play a few shots to keep things moving. Hawkes soon departed for 27, a seasons best, and an indication of a return to form? Frost, by now mostly settled, and partner Thommo continued to push the board along, both spending increasing amounts of time double over wheezing in the heat, and were within 15 of the target when Thommo was clean bowled by a very good ball.

Doddsy strode to the crease, impatient to be done with the game at this stage, and in between alternate exclamations of exasperation and amusement at the antics of comedy batting legend Frost, he biffed a few runs, called Gill for a few suicidal runs, and watched as the dastardly helmet of doom nearly ran his partner out. Frost managed to play a few shots near the end, suggesting that his claim to be the greatest undiscovered cricketer of all time may not be quite 100% bullshit, and when the keeper had a fumble, we tumbled over the finish line in a heap, Gill 18*, and Paul on 9*.

Bowling-
Bhatt - 8-0-14-2
S. Kutner  6-0-23-1
Thompson 5-0-19-0
Dodd 7-0-28-2
Jacobi 4-0-10-4
Frost 0.5-1-0-1

Batting-
Parker - 13 caught
Bob - 2 bowled
Cakebread - 14 caught
Hawkes -27 bowled
Kutner T - 1 bowled
Frost -18*
Thompson - 5 bowled
Dodd – 9*

Man of the Match

Richard Jacobi – for some glorious bowling to cap a glorious day.